For the Loved Ones

For the Loved Ones

Living with someone who is active in their addiction can be like living with someone who is jumping up and down on a raft and then complaining that everyone else is making the raft bounce.  You work harder, comply more, throw dozens of treatment options at your addicted loved one all to no avail.  They seem half-hearted sometimes.

What to do?  Where to begin?

First, stop owning the other person's treatment.  If you are taking responsibility for an addicted loved one getting help, then someone else isn't - the addicted person.  The harder you try in this regard, the less they likely will.

Second, get some help.  Your own traumas, and possibly some new ones, have likely been stirred up.  Your boundaries have likely been overthrown.  You may even be questioning your sanity and doubting your every decision.  Try Learn 2 Cope, alliesinrecovery.net, Al-Anon or CODA.  As you start to put your own boundaries right you will prompt your loved one to do the same.  Consider seeing a counselor yourself.

You don't have to own their recovery or just watch them die.  By putting your own life right you prompt your loved one to do the same.  It means letting go, which is scary - someone's life may be on the line.  But if they won't own their own life - who will?

Give me a call.  Let's help you find your way back to sanity.